So, here I am sitting on the other side of Breast Cancer, and I must say it’s been a bit harder than I thought.

It’s kinda weird, I thought there would be this massive relief, but I always had these thoughts in the back of my mind…

Is it really gone?

Have I done enough?

Have I made the changes I wanted to?

When you go through cancer treatment, your whole life revolves around hospital appointments and beating cancer. You just want to hear the words, ‘the cancer is gone’, although in reality it’s not really like that.

Slowly the hospital appointments slow down, there are no more surgeries booked and you’re just left alone.

At first, just knowing there are no more hospital appointments for a while is a massive relief but then life goes on, kinda like nothing has happened.

Then you just wait for that first yearly follow up appointment, like that is going to make it all right.

You want to hear the words again. You’re cancer free, but they don’t really say that.

A couple of weeks ago I had my yearly scan and my anxiety was pretty high. I think I actually have a bit of scan and hospital waiting room anxiety from it all. Anyway, I went in for the scan and I’m laying there having an ultrasound and he is spending a lot of time, really focussing on my lymph nodes. Then he leaves me laying there for a good 10 minutes and gets the big wig Dr in and she starts scanning and asking me lots of questions.

In my head, I’m thinking FUCK, here we go again. Lucky I had my mask on as I could feel the tears about to roll down my face all the while pretending I’m all cool with it, but deep down freaking out.

Anyway, it turns out after a follow up appointment, it is ALL GOOD. They don’t use the words ‘cancer free’ but there is no evidence of cancer.

Yeah, although still there doesn’t seem to be that ‘oh my god this is amazing’ relief I was expecting.

I suppose that’s just something I have to live with forever, and I just need to go back to what I know works…

FOCUSSING ON WHAT I CAN CONTROL.

Going through Breast Cancer really gave me clarity on what is important in my life and reignited my passion for helping other women feel the best they can.

Part of my breast cancer treatment is hormonal therapy that gives me all the joyous menopausal symptoms women get to experience.

To say they have been shit is an understatement, but when you know that it is dramatically reducing my risk of breast cancer reoccurrence, of course I’m going to suck it up.

Well, actually what I’ve done is research the crap out of menopause and how to help relieve symptoms, and being my usual obsessive self (thanks for that Dad), I’ve come up with a program to help women THRIVE, not just survive through menopause.

You can check it out HERE

I’d also love you to Like my Facebook and Instagram pages.

I am so passionate about helping women realise it’s MORE THAN OK to spend time on themselves, and even more important as we age and there are definitely actions you can take to feel great during menopause.

I think we start to lose ourselves as we age. So much focus goes on career, kids, family and along the way we start to forget who we really are.

What makes us happy.

What makes us feel good.

Going through cancer makes you realise self-care isn’t just a nice word, it’s essential and I’m so passionate about making sure my life includes lots of it and I help other women do the same.

💗 Hilds

P.s Follow my journey back to being the strongest and healthiest I’ve ever been! Weekly blog updates coming.